


with your soft smile (fireworks explode in my world)

by ddeonghwa



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, M/M, and that one off the boyz, lapslock, milcob RISE, not all the members are in i'm sorry, references to vlives, self-betaed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:21:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25555762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ddeonghwa/pseuds/ddeonghwa
Summary: the comment reads “shall we go on a date?” “dating?” hyunjae wonders outloud. a certain canadian boy’s face flashes by in his mind. before hyunjae has time to unpack whatever that was, he hears jacob go, “us two?”, fingers waving in the space between the two of them. “NOPE!” jacob continues, even going as far as bringing his arms up to signal a cross.(aka in which jacob is confusing and hyunjae needs to sleep)
Relationships: Bae Joonyoung | Jacob/Lee Jaehyun | Hyunjae
Comments: 12
Kudos: 96





	with your soft smile (fireworks explode in my world)

**Author's Note:**

> title from bloom bloom the god-tier title track and also it's is the part where chanhee points and the members jump up one by one and it's my favourite thing like ever  
> uhhhhh so this was supposed to be very different but my brain happened so uhhhhh  
> this could definitely be better but i'm tired. it took me a long time pLS  
> hope you enjoy this mess!  
> edited 25/12/2020 bc the original word count has always been bugging me LMAO there is no significant change in anything though!

it’s been a long day. it’s been really tiring. so why can’t hyunjae fall asleep? he has been tossing and turning on his bed for over two hours now, praying that sleep will overtake him soon, to no avail. he turns around for the millionth time to watch haknyeon sleeping soundly with his mouth slightly open, occasionally letting out a soft snore. hyunjae kind of wants to scream (usually he would just follow through and actually scream, but it’s like, 3am. he can be quiet when the situation calls for it, despite what many might think, thank you very much). he huffs quietly, deciding that he’s had enough. wrapping himself up in a blanket burrito and grabbing his pillow, his phone and a set of headphones that he is 90% sure belongs to neither him nor haknyeon, he sets off to the living room. 

the moment he steps out of his room, he already feels better. the air outside is much cooler, and hyunjae almost skips his way to the sofa. (3am, remember?) he plops himself down and whips out his phone. since he is still very awake, he decides to hop on twitter to check out what their fans are up to.

the latest photo posted on their we_the_boyz account is a set of selfies from jacob. hyunjae spends way too long staring at the photos of jacob before he realises what he is doing and scrolls down to read the comments instead, face feeling a little warm. as usual, he sees a few fancams in the replies and tons of tweets of people cooing over jacob. he spends a few minutes trying to read and understand some of the tweets in other languages before he sees this tweet.

“thank you jacob. you bless me with your visuals AND with the power of sleep. when i can’t sleep, i put on one of your old vlives and your soothing voice always manages to lull me to sleep. i know you probably won’t read this but i just really wanted to thank you! i hope you and the other members are having a good night’s rest! i love you all ❤️”

huh. he can see where this person is coming from. he has also always thought that jacob’s voice was a special brand of calm and soothing. after all, when hyunjae gets angry, jacob’s quiet voice comforting him was usually what calms him down the most. (he decidedly ignores the fact that a bigger reason for that is probably because he can never  _ not _ do what jacob wants)

hyunjae decides to try it out. why not? he doesn’t have anything to lose. even if he doesn’t fall asleep, he can still enjoy jacob’s vlive. he might even be able learn and practise his english! he pulls up vlive on his phone and plugs in the earpiece, clicking on jacob’s most recent vlive. a slow song that hyunjae doesn’t recognise starts playing in the background as jacob stares at the camera with a smile, greeting the viewers in that soft and soothing voice of his.

hyunjae falls into deep sleep not even five minutes into the vlive, to the sound of jacob quietly singing along to whatever song was playing. 

he wakes up to someone gently shaking his shoulders. he opens his eyes blearily to jacob smiling down at him. 

“good morning hyunjae! i put your phone back into your room to charge when i saw you here in the middle of the night. did you sleep well?”

hyunjae just yawns and rubs his eyes, nodding slowly. he did, in fact, get a great night’s sleep. jacob pets his shoulders with another smile before he leaves to the kitchen. watching jacob’s retreating back, hyunjae is suddenly hit with a realisation. if jacob took his phone, does it mean that he saw what hyunjae was watching?

hyunjae shoots up, almost falling over in the mess that is his blanket tangled between his legs. he makes a mad dash to his room, mumbling hurried greetings to the other members he passes by on the way. when he finally reaches his room, he snatches up his phone and immediately goes about finding which vlive was the last one he watched. 

to his utmost horror, he finds that jacob must have found him on the sofa very quickly after he fell asleep. the video at the top of his ‘recently watched’ videos is the first jacob vlive he clicked on. the thumbnail of jacob smiling at the camera feels like he’s mocking him right now. why did he think it was a good idea? (because you thought you had nothing to lose , his brain helpfully supplies. once again, hyunjae wants to scream)

he quickly decides that he will not bring this up if jacob doesn’t bring it up. if jacob does ask him about it, he will explain what happened last night truthfully. jacob will understand, right? he won’t think that hyunjae is weird as fuck for watching one of his own member’s vlive, right?  _ right?  _ hyunjae throws himself down onto his bed, groaning. 

to hyunjae’s relief, jacob never brings it up. they spend the day practising, with hyunjae casting wary looks at jacob whenever they have a break or when they are in close proximity. however, jacob doesn’t even notice all these. jacob still treats hyunjae the same, still occasionally touches him on the back or his arm when he walks by, still laughs prettily whenever hyunjae loosens up enough to be able to crack jokes with the other members. 

after a few days of hyunjae waiting fruitlessly for jacob to confront him, he gives up. he reasons that jacob might have been so kind that he probably covered his phone screen (or his own eyes) when turning off the display so that he doesn’t violate hyunjae’s privacy or something. he isn’t the group’s official angel for no reason, after all. 

however, hyunjae has started the habit of putting on one of jacob’s vlives whenever he has trouble sleeping (if he was honest to himself, he has done that every night this week, even though he didn’t bother waiting for hours for sleep to claim him. it has become an integral part of his nightly routine). he always wakes up slightly paranoid that someone might have somehow realised what he was doing, but when he is on his own bed, no one touches his phone.

hyunjae cycles through all of jacob’s solo vlives in two weeks. 

🌼

“jacob! cobie cobie cobie! do you want to do a vlive together?”

hyunjae bounces over to where jacob is sitting and using his phone. jacob looks up and smiles, which for some reason causes hyunjae’s heartbeat to stutter. hyunjae is bewildered. he briefly wonders if there is something wrong with his circulatory system before brushing it off. there’s more pressing matters! like doing a vlive with jacob! jacob nods. “i was just about to ask you the same thing!” hyunjae cheers, pulling him into an empty room.

hyunjae quickly sets up everything before hitting start. he barely notices that jacob has put on music. as usual, messages start pouring in quickly. hyunjae feels himself ease into the usual routine of holding a vlive, exchanging stories while reading the never-ending flow of comments from fans.

“hyunjae, you are so ‘cute’!” jacob exclaims. even though hyunjae knows that jacob is just reading a comment, he cannot help the smile that appears on his face. he also feels what feels like butterflies in his stomach. why is he feeling so many strange things today? he might have to go for a health check-up soon. this can’t be healthy. 

“why are you so cool?” hyunjae reads. there is no response coming from his side so hyunjae turns to look at jacob. jacob must have then only realised that the question is directed at hm. “me?” he asks incredulously, pointing at himself while looking at hyunjae for confirmation. hyunjae hums. he watches as jacob gears up for a reply. clearly amused, jacob huffs, paired with a shoulder shrug. “just because,” jacob replies cheekily. hyunjae is endlessly endeared and he cannot control the wide smile that overtakes his face as he falls back against the sofa, cooing internally. 

the comment reads “shall we go on a date?” “dating?” hyunjae wonders out loud. a certain canadian boy’s face flashes by in his mind. before hyunjae has time to unpack  _ whatever that was _ , he hears jacob go, “us two?”, fingers waving in the space between the two of them. “NOPE!” jacob continues, even going so far as to bringing his arms up to signal a cross. 

hyunjae can feel his stomach drop. “no! with deobis!” he says, pretending to be exasperated. jacob laughs as he grabs hyunjae’s arm in sort of an apology. why is hyunjae so hypersensitive to where jacob is touching him? why does he feel even sadder when jacob pulls away? what is going on?

they finish up the vlive. incidents aside, hyunjae is glad that they finally had some time together. being in such a large group means that hyunjae barely spends time alone with jacob, with jacob usually retreating back to his room after schedules or going to find kevin. hyunjae is not jealous. he knows that kevin is the closest thing jacob has to his hometown and he is happy that the two canadian members have each other to depend on in an unforgiving industry in a foreign country. hyunjae usually looks for the other members to disturb in hopes of filling up the jacob-sized hole in his heart anyway.

“that was fun. we should do that again more often,” jacob declares. he is grinning wide, and when hyunjae looks at him, he feels like he can’t breathe for a moment. quickly regaining his senses, he nods, trying to return the smile. thankfully, jacob doesn’t realise whatever turmoil hyunjae is in and they head towards the practice room, mentally preparing themselves for another grueling round of dance practice. 

that night, hyunjae lies awake in his bed (again), thinking back on all the strange things he felt. he thinks about jacob’s smile, jacob’s laugh, and jacob touching him. why is his heart rate speeding up again? sure, he has always thought that jacob is really handsome, ever since hyunjae first saw him wandering around in the company, squinting at signs and slowly reading the words out. but so is younghoon, so is juyeon, so is the rest of the group, really. for good measure, he turns around to look at haknyeon, who is sleeping. he doesn’t feel anything different. 

(that might have something to do with the fact that haknyeon is drooling into his pillow, but hyunjae tries to think of jacob in the same position and he thinks jacob would look absolutely adorable. what the fuck.)

hyunjae decides to stop thinking about it and instead pulls up another one of jacob’s vlive, readying himself to sleep.

he dreams of jacob that night. (outside. with him. on a date)

🌼

hyunjae and jacob are outside together on one of their rare days off, looking around for some food to eat.

(eric screamed “enjoy the date!” as they were leaving the dorms. needless to say, hyunjae will be retracting all of eric's perks as his favourite maknae)

they settle on a random restaurant and have barely taken their seats before one of the waitresses fly to their table. 

“hello! the boyz, right? i'm a huge fan! i'm so honoured to be able to serve you guys today! please let me know when you’re ready to order!” she whispers excitedly, speaking almost entirely to jacob. hyunjae just grins at the flustered expression on jacob’s face.

jacob nods shyly, and the waitress leaves after winking at him. hyunjae feels a little twist in his stomach as he stares at jacob’s cheeks slowly reddening. he quickly ignores that and discusses with jacob what they should order. when they are done, jacob barely raises his hand before the same waitress magically appears at their table, beaming brightly.

hyunjae forces out a chuckle when the waitress leaves, this time throwing jacob a flying kiss. jacob buries his face in his hands.

“this is so embarrassing!” he whines.

“seems like you found a big fan of yours,” hyunjae replies, trying to keep his tone light.

jacob groans. hyunjae lets his smile drop as soon as jacob is no longer looking at him.

the waitress keeps returning to their table, either to deliver their food or just to ask if they need any help. each time, she leaves after flirting with jacob. hyunjae’s appetite decreases the more he watches the interactions.

it’s not that he is jealous that she is a fan of jacob. he is more than happy to have the attention on someone else. he might be, however, slightly upset that she was able to pull all these reactions out of jacob. hyunjae thinks that he wants to be the one to publicly adore and shower jacob with all his love.

woah, _what?_

before hyunjae has the time or mental capacity to dissect that thought, he hears jacob asking, “you haven’t touched your food in a while. are you full? can we leave? i want to go back soon.” hyunjae nods, barely sparing a glance at his obviosuly-not-empty plate. he doesn’t think he can stomach anything else. besides, he can never say no to jacob.

after a short tussle in front of the counter to fight over who should pay, jacob overpowers hyunjae (damn, all those late nights that jacob spent at the gym while hyunjae is too tired to even function is paying off, huh) and pushes him out of the restaurant. hyunjae watches jacob through the glass door, frowning when he notices that it's the same waitress who's the one settling the bill.

after jacob makes payment, hyunjae sees the waitress slide a piece of paper and a pen over to jacob. ah, she must be asking for his autograph, then. she then talks to jacob while he is signing. she grows visibly agitated and sends hyunjae a few heated looks, causing him to freeze. he slowly turns his eyes to jacob, whose hand looks like he is gripping the pen a little too tightly. it seems like he crosses something off the paper as he replies the waitress. the waitress snaps her head back from glaring at hyunjae to look at jacob in horror. if hyunjae squints, he thinks he can see the vein in jacob’s neck popping out. after finishing his reply, jacob walks out of the restaurant, noticibly angry. the waitress just stares at jacob leave, a disbelieving look on her face.

despite the fact that hyunjae can almost physically feel the anger pouring out of jacob in waves, jacob’s grip when he pulls on hyunjae’s wrist to walk away is gentle. hyunjae doesn’t dare to ask jacob what happened, because jacob is rarely angry and he thinks that jacob needs a bit of time to collect himself first, anyway. however, hyunjae can already kind of guess what happened in the restaurant. 

they make their way back to the dorm in silence, jacob never letting go of hyunjae's wrist. once they step into the dorm, jacob deflates.

“she was being mean. about you.” jacob sighs.

hyunjae’s guess was right, then. 

“what did she say?” hyunjae asks carefully.

“she said you don’t deserve the limelight, don’t deserve the attention, don't deserve to get the lines you have and don’t deserve to be a part of the group! how could she? you are talented in both singing _and_ dancing, are an integral part of all our performances and help the group so much when we are down! without you, there wouldn’t be the boyz! who does she think she is, spinning lies about you?” jacob spits out.

hyunjae’s heart races. this is not the first time he has had criticism directed towards him. this is also definitely not the worst he has gotten. however, this is the first time he has heard a fellow member defend him so sincerely (he knows all the other members would do the same too, and so would he, to the other members. jacob is just the first one to have met a fan who’s very vocal about her opinions to his face) he feels his heart squeeze painfully.

jacob must have misjudged his silence for sadness because he wraps hyunjae up in a tight hug. “you are so important to us, and to so many other the bs, okay? we love you so, so much,” jacob whispers. hyunjae just squeezes jacob back equally tightly. he feels his heart squeeze again. 

“thank you, jacob. you have no idea how much that means to me,” hyunjae whispers, feeling slightly choked up. they remain in the same position, standing in the entryway, for a long time.

finally, jacob pulls away. 

“do you want to go shower first?” jacob asks quietly.

hyunjae nods, the dirt and sweat on his skin suddenly feeling a lot more disgusting. jacob shooes hyunjae away to go shower, and hyunjae complies. 

he spends a longer time than usual showering, head filled with different thoughts. he refuses to give any single one of them special attention and just lets his mind fuzz over. 

when he steps out of the shower, he hears eric yell “movie night!”

strangely (or not at all, if hyunjae is to be perfectly honest), all the other members were already in the living room, some on the sofa and others on the floor. there is an empty spot on the sofa, and everyone is staring at hyunjae expectantly. he chuckles internally. outside, he fake groans before plopping himself down across all the laps of the members on the sofa. he feels multiple hands start tickling him and he screams.

when the tickle fight ends, he sits up, settling between jacob and juyeon. eric and sunwoo have a brief argument over what movie to watch before chanhee shuts them both up by putting on frozen 2. hyunjae relaxes into the sofa, head almost automatically going down on jacob’s shoulder, before

“ew! you haven’t showered yet!” hyunjae complains in mock disgust.

jacob laughs. “alright, i’ll go shower. save the spot for me,” he replies before leaving to the bathroom. 

hyunjae immediately regrets asking jacob to go shower. the empty spot on his left burns a very large jacob-sized hole in his heart. he pouts before he realises that juyeon is on his other side. he turns towards juyeon and smirks, sinking his head down on juyeon’s shoulder. juyeon just grabs hyunjae’s hand and begins mindlessly rubbing circles on the back. 

jacob comes back quickly. hyunjae also quickly abandons juyeon, pushing him over to younghoon, who’s sitting on juyeon’s other side, before latching himself onto jacob like a koala to a tree. he feels extra clingy (for jacob) tonight and he is sure jacob will indulge him anyway. 

indeed, jacob just wraps his arms around hyunjae, tucking him a little closer.

hyunjae falls asleep that night to the sound of jacob quietly singing along to ‘into the unknown’, feeling extra warm and cosy surrounded by all of his members’ love.

🌼

hyunjae wanders out into the theatre, picking a random seat to settle down in before he whips his phone out. there are a few french sentences he hopes to be able to say to the french the bs. he hears someone take a seat beside him. he turns and realises that it’s jacob, who smiles at him. “studying french?” jacob asks quietly. hyunjae nods before going back to his phone. for some reason, he feels a little happier now. 

one of their managers walk up to them, camera in hand. “would you two like to film something for off the boyz?” he asks. 

“sure! i have a sentence to practise. i think the fans will enjoy it,” jacob replies, sounding very excited. hyunjae turns his focus back onto his phone. merci beaucoup. he repeats this in his mind a few times. thank you very much. he vaguely registers the camera pointing in his and jacob’s direction and turns to look at jacob as he reads a pretty long sentence. “je vous présente, fabian, ma femme,” jacob recites, even adding some hand gestures. he smiles at the camera when he is done.

hyunjae is confused. have they ever learned that? why does that not sound familiar at all? he begins to panic, waiting for jacob to translate that. for some reason, he blurts out the phrase that he has been practising: merci beaucoup.

jacob turns to him, left hand coming up to grab his shoulder. hyunjae is momentarily distracted by someone leaving the theatre by the door right beside him. he hears jacob’s voice, and turns back in time to only hear jacob saying his name. oh well. he repeats ‘merci beaucoup’, thinking that jacob must have said something nice about him. jacob is an angel, right?

their manager brings the camera down and smiles at them. he tells them to work hard before leaving, promising to bring back food. when it’s only the two of them left, hyunjae decides to ask jacob what he said. it concerns him, after all. strangely, jacob turns a little pink. “it means ‘i’d like to introduce my wife’.” jacob explains, looking a little embarrassed. 

“i thought i forgot an important sentence! where did you even learn that?” hyunjae almost yells, relieved. an unreadable expression passes over jacob’s face before he smiles again. (hyunjae almost misses the fact that the smile doesn’t reach his eyes. he reasons that jacob must be nervous for the concert) “i read it somewhere and thought it would be interesting,” jacob replies, turning his attention onto his phone. hyunjae goes back to practising more french sentences as well.

later, when jacob has left and hyunjae is alone in the theatre, he thinks back to what jacob has explained. realisation hits him like a bullet train and his brain short-circuits. did jacob just call him _his_ _wife?_ hyunjae buries his face in his hands and groans. why did he only just realise that? and why does he feel so happy knowing that jacob called him his wife? there is a nagging thought at the back of his brain, yelling that there is a very simple answer to that question. hyunjae just asks his brain to shut up. he still has this concert and many more to think about instead.

(hyunjae doesn’t stop thinking about it. he watches the off the boys video when it is released a few months later, replaying that scene again. he’s just listening to jacob’s melodic voice saying what sounds like a beautiful sentence, he reasons. he doesn’t manage to hide the smile that grows every time he hears jacob explain “i’d like to introduce my wife”. haknyeon throws a pillow at him because “you look creepy as fuck, hyung. stop smiling at your phone”. hyunjae just chucks the pillow right back)

🌼

hyunjae watches, heart in his mouth, as the five members practise the human stairs move for 'danger'. when sunwoo lands, everyone cheers. however, hyunjae catches jacob gently massaging his wrist and knees, wincing slightly. it wasn’t as perfect as the others thought it was, then.

hyunjae walks up to jacob, who’s petting haknyeon and eric’s backs, praising them for a job well done. he waits for the maknaes to leave before whispering, “you injured your wrist, didn’t you? i saw you rubbing your wrist.” he frowns as jacob looks at him, surprised.

“you saw that? it’s nothing much, really. it doesn’t feel too bad, don’t worry about it,” jacob tries to brush off hyunjae’s concern.

“no! how can i not worry? i’ll tell them to stop practising that stunt until you feel better,” hyunjae huffs, turning around to go talk to their choreographer. he feels jacob grab his wrist. hyunjae turns back to look at jacob, who’s looking at him with a desperate look on his face.

“please don’t… we need to practise that move as much as possible so that we don’t make mistakes during the actual performance. i’ll just pay more attention and put less pressure on my left arm,” jacob pleads. 

hyunjae feels his heart break seeing how upset jacob is. this will be one of the rare times he says no to jacob, then.

“i’m sorry jacob. i know you have the team’s best interest at heart but i can’t watch you continue, knowing that your wrist is not a hundred percent fine. please, just stop practising that until you are better,” hyunjae replies, basically begging.

jacob’s gaze dropped lower and lower as hyunjae spoke. when hyunjae is done, jacob is staring at the ground. hyunjae catches an almost imperceptible nod from jacob, and he smiles, gently grabbing jacob’s uninjured wrist to pull him towards the instructor. hyunjae quickly explains the situation and they agree to put that move on hold until jacob is better. 

after their instructor shoos them away to go take a break, jacob gently pries his wrist from hyunjae’s grip. hyunjae didn’t even realise that he has been holding on all this time. he shoots hyunjae a weak smile before walking towards his bag. hyunjae feels his stomach drop as jacob walks further and further away from him. 

hyunjae spends the rest of practice trying to get jacob’s attention. he tries cracking jokes that have everyone laughing but when he looks at jacob, jacob is not even looking at him or even smiling. he even tries some slapstick humour by throwing his body to the ground but jacob doesn’t even spare him a glance. as some of the other members help him up, laughing, his heart sinks.

did he really do something wrong? he was just trying to help. why is jacob not giving him any attention? it gets even worse when sangyeon makes one of his dad jokes and hyunjae peeks at jacob to see him laughing. _oh._

hyunjae feels his heart shatter into a million pieces.

he tries to pretend like everything is fine for the rest of practice. occasionally, he spots one of the staff members holding up a camera, most probably filming the behind-the-scenes. it must have succeeded since no one catches on to the fact that his heart is in pieces and the smiles he plaster on his face feel more like a grimace. he sighs in relief when practice ends, tired of putting up a charade in front of the members and the camera.

everyone packs up quickly and quietly, all exhausted from the long practice they had. hyunjae grabs his bag and heads to one of their cars, sliding open the doors. he freezes when he sees jacob already inside, also looking at him like a deer caught in headlights. hyunjae contemplates switching to the other car, but changmin is behind him, prodding his back. 

“hyung! why aren’t you getting in?” he whines. 

hyunjae gulps, considers the possible repercussions of suddenly announcing he wants to switch cars for a split second, before resigning to his fate and stepping into the car. hyunjae and jacob exchange a small and awkward “hello” before hyunjae decides to spare them both from the inevitable awkward silence by plugging in his airpods, a clear sign that no one should talk to him. jacob quickly whips out his own set of airpods as well.

maybe it’s because he’s tired from practice. maybe it’s because of the soft music that is playing. maybe it’s the gentle rocking motion provided by the car in transit. no matter what the reason, hyunjae feels his eyelids get heavier before his eyes close completely.

“we’re here,” hyunjae hears someone that sounds oddly like jacob say. he feels someone gently tap his thighs. he slowly peels his eyes open to see the world on its side. 

his head is lying on something (someone?) comfortable. his head is tilted to the right, and changmin was sitting on his left, which means…

_oh fuck._

hyunjae immediately straightens his body, wincing at the slight wooziness brought about by the sudden movement. he realises that they are the only ones left in the car. hyunjae almost decides to just run out of the car and pretend he didn’t just fall asleep on jacob’s shoulder, but he thinks jacob deserves at least an apology for being forced into an uncomfortable situation.

“i’m sorry for falling asleep on you,” hyunjae apologises sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck, eyes trained on his own lap.

“it’s fine,” he hears jacob reply. jacob is an angel as usual, allowing hyunjae to nap on his shoulders, even though hyunjae’s hair is not completely dry from all the sweat and grime accumulated during practice.

hyunjae nods, and almost steps out of the car, assuming that their conversation had ended, before he hears jacob sucking in a deep breath.

“i’m sorry. i’m not entirely sure what came over me just now but i’m sorry for ignoring you. i know you also have the team’s best interest at heart and deep down, i know that getting injured would pose a bigger problem for the performance than not getting the stunt down. i really have no explanation for the way i acted earlier, i’m sorry.”

hyunjae stares at jacob, whose fingers are twiddling with one another. now, jacob’s eyes are the one trained on his own lap. hyunjae sighs.

“that’s okay. we all do unexplainable things, anyway. are you a hundred percent sure that you’re not mad at me?” hyunjae replies, trying to gauge jacob’s reaction.

to his relief, jacob whips his head up, looking incredulous. 

“why would i be mad at you? i can’t even begin to thank you for noticing and stopping me!”

hyunjae feels his face break into a wide grin. they’re all good, then. 

“i know how you can express your gratitude!” hyunjae’s grin grows impossibly wider at jacob’s look of confusion. “you can piggy back me up! i’m so tired,” he suggests with a whine, even throwing in a pout. he expects jacob to laugh in his face or just reject him, but jacob doesn’t say a word as he exits the car from the door right beside him. hyunjae’s eyes follow jacob’s movement as he walks over to the hyunjae’s side.

jacob squats into the piggy back position. hyunjae’s jaw drops.

“i was just kidding! why would you actually offer me that?” hyunjae screams, slightly hysterical. jacob doesn’t move. hyunjae huffs and gets out of the car, nudging jacob to the side. when jacob finally straightens up, hyunjae swings his arms around jacob’s shoulder, claiming that he might be joking about the piggy back, but he still needs support going up. he ignores the blood slowly rushing up to his face as he pulls jacob towards the lift and their dorm, jacob's hand holding securely onto his waist.

that night, hyunjae dreams of jacob piggy backing him while running around in a beautiful field of flowers, happiness evident on both their faces.

🌼

sangyeon bids hyunjae, jacob and juyeon farewell after their dinner together, explaining that he has some work to do. when sangyeon disappears around the corner, juyeon turns to look at the other two, excitement evident in his eyes.

“wanna do a vlive together?”

hyunjae shrugs. why not? it’s not like he has anything else planned. he sees jacob nodding out of the corner of his eyes. they shuffle into a room and hyunjae gets one of the company phones, tasked to come up with the title of the vlive. 

the vlive proceeds as any other of their vlives would. they share a few amusing anecdotes first before the familiar comments start pouring in.

“jacob! let’s get married,” hyunjae reads one of the many similar comments. he expects jacob to laugh it off, pretend to think about it, or say that sorry, he’s already married to all the other members. hyunjae is an expert in jacob’s vlives, after all.

“yes,” jacob replies immediately, with no hesitation. hyunjae takes a moment to process his response before he whips his whole body around, giving jacob an incredulous look. is he for real? did he know the person who commented that? is that why he agreed so readily? has jacob already made plans for marria-

“weren’t you the one saying it to me?”

hyunjae’s mind screeches to a halt. _what the fuck._

“that’s weirder,” hyunjae cannot keep the slight whining out of his voice. why is jacob such a flirt? he pushes jacob away lightly, not realising that as a result, he has gone out of frame. jacob and juyeon chuckle. 

hyunjae tries not to think about marrying jacob. he fails spectacularly. however, he still somehow manages to participate in the vlive as if his whole mind wasn’t filled with thoughts of him and jacob together. them going on a date. them getting married, surrounded by their family and the rest of the group. hyunjae being able to wake up to jacob's sleeping form because they are marri-

_woah. hold the fuck up._ hyunjae has neither the time nor the mental capacity for those thoughts now.

after the vlive ends, the trio attends a lesson before they are dismissed. juyeon announces that he has to go to his practice room with eric. jacob pulls hyunjae towards the practice room they share with changmin. hyunjae pulls open the door and notes that changmin isn’t inside. 

the two of them settle into their routine in the new company building, where jacob plays the guitar and hyunjae sometimes sing along if he knows what song jacob is playing. today, hyunjae just focuses on the way jacob looks, side profile stunning as he looks at the sheets in front of him and strums. he closes his eyes when jacob sings quietly, intending to fully experience the auditory heaven that is jacob’s sweet, sweet voice. 

jacob is singing in english, so hyunjae cannot really understand what the lyrics are. however, he does manage to catch a few ‘ _love_ ’s and even more ‘ _pretty boy_ ’s, so he guesses that jacob is singing a love song. hyunjae’s heart clenches painfully when he thinks about jacob serenading his lover. whoever jacob ends up with must be so lucky. 

hyunjae opens his eyes when the song ends, noticing that jacob is already looking at him. hyunjae smiles and applauds jacob quietly, not wanting to disturb the atmosphere. jacob shoots him an unreadable look before he smiles back, slightly shy. “i really like your voice,” is what hyunjae means to say.

“i really like you.”

wait, what the fuck?

hyunjae widens his eyes in horror as he realises what he said. he looks at jacob, who also looks shocked, mouth opened slightly in disbelief. hyunjae sputters.

“i-i don’t know why i said that! wait i mean i do, it’s because i like you, duh. woah wait what? oh my god. i do like you. oh my god. i, lee jaehyun, have a big fat crush on you, bae jacob. oh my god. am i making things weird? i probably should have denied it but you know me, i’m too honest for my own good, ha ha. please show some response, you can even reject me, it’s okay. well it won’t be okay for me, but i’ll get over it. after a long time. oh my god. i’m really sorry for making things awkward, oh m-“

hyunjae cuts off his nervous rambling when jacob surged forward to press a featherlight kiss on his cheek. jacob leans back as quickly as he had leaned forward, face visibly red. hyunjae just clutches his cheek, dazed.

“i like you too,” jacob quietly confesses, flushing even redder but his eyes are looking straight at hyunjae, determined. hyunjae opens and closes his mouth a few times, not believing what he is hearing. 

“me? you like me?” hyunjae points at himself, eyes wide. how can someone like jacob like someone like h-

hyunjae's thought process is interrupted when jacob surges forward again, this time to press their lips together. hyunjae freezes for a millisecond before it hits him that _jacob is kissing him, oh my god._ he thinks back to all the times he _did not_ dream about jacob’s lips, and he kind of wants to cry because wow, it’s even softer and better in real life. hyunjae’s brain then screams at him to shut up and enjoy the kiss but jacob is already pulling away. hyunjae pouts. 

“yes hyunjae, i have a big fat crush on you too,” jacob admits, looking everywhere but at hyunjae. hyunjae wants to scream. instead, he diverts that energy into jumping onto jacob’s lap, causing jacob to quickly wrap his arms (jacob and his fucking workouts. hyunjae is going to _die_ ) around hyunjae’s waist. he looks down at jacob, grinning wide. jacob just smiles up at him, eyes crinkling prettily. hyunjae thinks that he wants to kiss jacob and never stop.

hyunjae has never claimed to be a mentally strong man. he gives in to his urges and begins peppering kisses all over jacob’s face, paying special attention to the side of his eyes where the crinkles are. jacob giggles ( _giggles_!) and the sound sends hyunjae’s heart soaring.

of course, hyunjae ends the kiss tour of jacob’s face on jacob’s lips, both of them smiling way too happily into the kiss.

(that’s not to say that hyunjae stops kissing jacob, because he doesn’t. poor changmin walked in on them and let out his signature ear-piercing scream which finally startles them apart, before he covers his eyes with his hand and runs away, still screaming.

hyunjae and jacob look at each other before dissolving into giggles.)

(of course, they get right back into kissing. hyunjae is a weak, weak man.)

**Author's Note:**

> i didn't know whether to put deobi or the b but since they usually write the b in english i chose that  
> wasn't really proud of this but i read it through again and i guess it's decent enough!  
> the song jacob was singing to is pretty boy by m2m! because i think we can all agree that hyunjae is the prettiest boy  
> also hyunjae's injury :( pls take my back instead  
> also i have no idea whether the changmin-hyunjae-jacob room actually has a sofa or not cus i havent caught up on changmin's latest vlive but oh well  
> sorry the canon parts are much much shorter than the non-canon ones lmao  
> [milcob vlive](https://www.vlive.tv/video/139931), [the french thing which honestly made me scream when i first saw it](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5n8mUIIeSdk), [jumilcob vlive](https://www.vlive.tv/video/203208)  
> please leave a kudos or a comment if you liked this!  
> and also please excuse any mistakes, it's 4am here and i'm exhausted  
> come say hi on [twitter ](https://www.twitter.com/ao3ddeonghwa)(i made a new account just for fic writing and reading lmao) or [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/ao3ddeonghwa)!


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